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"You are fearless
When it comes to lighting up a room

I can love and I can hate
and I know how to hesitate
so teach me how to move."

Everyone. Right now. Order the new Alli Rogers CD. Click here and then click the "shop" button.

this is kind of a long setup, but it's totally worth it for the punchline

This morning in class we were reading aloud the book of Judges in the Old Testament, and when we got to the part about Gideon bringing the gift to the angel of the Lord, (Judges 6:19-20 says, "Gideon went and prepared a young goat and a huge amount of unraised bread. He put the meat in a basket and the broth in a pot and took them back under the shade of the oak tree for a sacred meal.") I was so hungry that I thought it sounded delicious.

At lunchtime I went to Home Depot to pick up some supplies for the work we're doing on the basement at the church, and while I was at the church dropping it off I went to see if Jordanne wanted to have lunch. While we were talking, Tom offered us some of his birthday cake. I said, "No, I'm in the mood for meat and bread. We were reading Judges this morning and all that talk of meat and grain sacrifices got me in the mood for pot roast."

Tom looked at me like I was being ridiculous and said, "Raw pot roast?"

"No," I said, "but I do know someone who finds it very hard to resist raw hamburger. Like, if he's making hamburgers he really has to make an effort to not eat the raw meat. He says it's not as good once it's cooked."

Tom, flabbergasted, replied, "That's crazy. I mean, it's not like it's cookie dough."

if this isn't a hallmark commercial then i don't know what is

This morning I handed Aaron a card.

Aaron: What's this?
Me: A card. They make them at that place where I used to work.
Aaron: Can I open it now or is it one of those "make me cry" notes?
Me: Oh no, you can definitely open it now if you want.
Aaron: Is it a "thank you for helping me bury my dead cat" card?
Me: How did you know.

some things just get funnier with age

Tonight a few of us were at Starbucks having a sort of hang out type thing for new people in our Gathering Community. Our "community" is technically the college and post-college age group at our church, save the few of us "older" folks who are in leadership. The age range (save Julie, Jon, and myself) was averaging around 20. Julie, Jon, and myself average at 30. Just keep all that in mind.

Alissa (Jon's wife) was telling us that she just got a new iPod today, and Shannon mentioned that she had just gotten a new one as well, but that she felt a little sick after spending that much money. Alissa agreed that she, too, felt a little sick plopping down that much cash. I piped in and said, "Yeah, I bought one when I sold my house."

Jon said something about people usually buying another house when they sell one, but iPods are good choices as well.

Then Julie said, "Yeah, I can hear you now, 'Why do I have to pay capital gains? I bought an iPod.' "

Julie, Jon, and I immediately erupt into laughter at her comment (which was stinking HILARIOUS, by the way) and are just laughing and laughing until we realize that we're the only three laughing and the other seven people at the table are just blinking at us.

As we all sort of suck in our laughter I said, "Oh wow. Guess you gotta be old to see the humor in that one."

this totally warrants two posts, but due to the rapid succession of these two hilarious events, i'll combine them for the sake of ease

Today: sitting in Latteland about ten feet from Cari. My phone rings. I pick it up and the caller ID says, "cari gee" which means that my friend who is sitting ten feet from me is calling me. I answer, "Yes?" She says, "I didn't want to yell across the coffee shop and I'm too lazy to come over there."

I love her. Have I mentioned that she makes my day EVERY DAY? Well, she does.

Okay, then tonight. Tonight we had church, and afterwards we were all standing around talking in the auditorium. After I'd gotten into a wrestling match over a gum wrapper with Jason (H.), and twisted my brain seriously trying to remember the line, "I'm a hamster!" with Brad, my friend Jeff calls to me from the hallway. I run to his aid (valiantly. Okay, so I saunter out to see what he wants.) Jeff says, "Can you go into the women's restroom and see if there's a little girl in there named Mackenzie wearing a pink jacket?"

Okay, not so difficult, right? I walk into the bathroom where I find a small child (around two or three, I'm guessing) who has taken off all her clothes and strewn them around one of the toilets. I say to her, "Are you Mackenzie?" She looks at me and says, "I wanna go potty." Again, I say to her, "Are you Mackenzie?" Again, she says to me, "I wanna go potty."
"Are you Mackenzie?"
"I wanna go potty."
"Are you Mackenzie?"
"I wanna go potty."
"Are you Mackenzie?"
"I wanna go potty."
"THAT'S NICE." I say, "But are you Mackenzie?"
"I wanna go potty."
"Okay, but IS. YOUR. NAME. MACKENZIE."
"I wanna go potty."

Finally I leave the bathroom and tell Jeff, "There is a small child in there who has completely disrobed herself and keeps insisting that she wants to go potty. She won't answer to the name Mackenzie, however there is a pink jacket on the floor next to her."

and for once, i was perfectly graceful

Tonight as we were walking into the house, Cari tripped and almost fell. Jason (H.) said, "Cari, what are you doing? That's Amy's job."

Why is it that when someone else falls, somehow I still get made fun of? Eh?

st. patrick

Top o' the evenin' to ya, laddies and lassies. All day Cari and I 'ave been speakin' in Irish accents, albeit not great ones. Today a lady with green hair asked me, "How green are ya?" (in an Irish accent), so I replied (in an Irish accent), "I'm plenty green! Thanks for askin'." (I don't know what 'How green are you?' means, but oh well.)

At lunch Jason (C.) turned to me when he'd had just enough of the fake accent and said, "We really don't need to continue that you know."

So, in honor of the frienaissance and the afternoon frap, I'll leave you with this:

"Hello Ross! This is Dr. McNeely from the Fake Accent University. We'd like you to come on board with us full time." Ahh.

Happy St. Pat's everyone. I hope you were plenty green, and had plenty of Irish cheer. (OH! And Happy Birthday to Tiffany! And Happy Birthday to Stefán!)

tell me how you really feel

Yesterday Jason (C.), Cari (on my wayward son), and I were walking down the street. Jason started saying something outlandish in that tone of voice like it's a true story, which is something he does often. I don't remember exactly what it was, but I said, "You should be a writer. Your brain comes up with the most interesting tangents."

He said, "I hate tangents. I'm a get-straight-to-the-facts kind of guy. That's why I don't like reading fiction."

I said, "Really? I love tangents. My whole life is made up of tangents. My blog is nothing but a string of tangents."

"I know," he said. "That's why I can't stand reading it."

why i can't wait to see julia on saturday

I was trying to ask Julia if she wanted to eat at Culver's on Saturday, and she didn't know what it was. So I said, "They have burgers and custard."

Julia was silent. Then she uttered the beginnings of several words and finally got out, "What?!"

"You know, custard like at Sheridan's, where you can get mix-ins and stuff. And they have good burgers." Then I realized what it must've sounded like, and I quoted Dodgeball, "Not mixed together."

She immediately lept into the Thanksgiving Friends episode and quoted Joey, "Custard? Good! Jam? Good! Beef? GOOD!"

Yeah, I'd like a small vanilla custard with Reece's pieces, marshmallows, and ground beef. Mmm.

just because, on a regular tuesday

Yesterday I got the most wonderful surprise. Jordanne showed up at my work with tulips and her lunch, and we hung out for a whole hour. It was the coolest surprise. And now I have pretty flowers to gaze at all week. I love tulips, they remind me of my old backyard when I had a house.

Thank you Jordanne! (ps—they opened up today!)

shalom shabbat

Wow. Yesterday I had the best sabbath I think I've had in a looooonnnggg time. It all started with the innocent act of driving Becky to the airport for her spring break trip, and ended up being breakfast, airport, coffee, shopping, happy hour, ice cream, and a frienaissance. And the best part was that I'd left all my books and my computer at home (thinking I'd return there after driving to the airport, which I never did until 11 pm), so I just couldn't do any work. It was absolutely fabulous.

Highlights of the day:

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Jason (H.) said something (I, unfortunately, can't remember what) to Jenae that warranted a comeback.
Jenae, biting her tongue: "I can't respond to that because I gave up being a smart-ass for Lent."
Me, to Jason: "Yeah, she's saving it up for later. On Easter you're going to get an ear full."

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Julie and I had gotten coffee at Barnes and Noble and grabbed some magazines and headed off into a corner to sit in the lazy chairs and chat. I had grabbed Fitness and Storage and Julie picked up People. She saw Fitness in my hands and said, "Look at you, grabbing a non-shallow magazine." Later, as we were putting the magazines back on the shelf, she was putting mine back as well. She put the fitness magazine back and then looked at the other one as if I'd gotten a magazine written in Chinese, held it up and shouted across the magazine section, "Really Amy? Storage? Are you for REAL?"

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Jason, upon sitting down at happy hour and stretching: "I'm tired. I don't know why, but I am."
Me: "Well, you've been painting all day, and you travelled last week, plus the funeral was emotionally exhausting. You should be tired. In fact, you should be getting fed grapes and fanned with fig leaves and massaged with fragrant oils."
Jason: "Yeah, you're right. I should."

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Julie and I were stretched out on her couches watching Season Five of Friends. Joey asks Phoebe if she'll drive cross-country with him, and to entice her says, "We can renew our friendship." Phoebe replies, "Are you inviting me on a frienaissance?"
Julie, who'd been drifting off into sleep, rolls over on the couch and says, "Amy, let's sleep on the couches. We can have a fleep-over."

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Oh, and Jenae and I wandered around the plaza taking pictures as well:

a time to mourn and a time to dance

Two days following Callie's death, Mom and Dad got a dog. He's a rescued stray, about two and a half years old, a dalmatian mix. They keep telling me over the phone how cool he is and I can hear in their voices their excitement as they watch him discover things about his new home.

And last week a dear friend's grandfather died, at 98. He passed away the morning after I held for the first time another friend's two-week old son.

Charlie Hall is right: This world is broken, yet beautifully made.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 To everything there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven:
A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to pluck up what is planted,
A time to kill and a time to heal, a time to break down and a time to build up,
A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
A time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones together, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
A time to get and a time to lose, a time to keep and a time to cast away,
A time to rend and a time to sew, a time to keep silence and a time to speak,
A time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

callie anna, march 1996—march 2006

Today I lost a faithful little friend to kidney failure. I had no idea a week ago that this would be her last day. I thought she was merely sore from an altercation with another cat. Unexpected things can happen so quickly.

Ten years ago a coworker informed me that a stray had taken up at her residence, and that she couldn't keep her. She asked if I wanted her, and I—a junior in college at the time—said I'd follow her home from work and "just take a look." I had no intentions of having a cat. But I sat down on my coworker's driveway, and Callie crawled up into my lap, curled up, and promptly fell asleep. I was hers from that moment on. We lived together in four houses and four apartments—in South Carolina, Tennessee, Missouri, and Kansas.

And I'm glad, because she has been a wonderful little calico blessing for so many years. For Callie—to whom I used to sing, Hey Callie Ann, what's your game now can anybody play..., the greatest semi-automatic paw I've ever seen, the loudest meow this side of the continental divide, and who made the cutest little Callie-ball when sleeping—thank you God, for she made me smile, kept me warm, and soaked up my tears many times.

Click the photo for a short slideshow.

status

Today Rick asked me over and over again how I was until I took the time to articulate where I've been lately—emotionally. Basically it comes down to the fact that the refining fire is hot and uncomfortable. But it's the refining fire, and it's entirely worth it.

inside

Today:

melancholy, content, sad, helpless, and thankful.

And yes, all at the same time.

callie anna

For those of you who know Callie, or care for an update...

The vet couldn't find anything about her flesh wound that would cause her behavior of lethargy. Nor could he find anything upon examination that would explain her behavior at all. So he ran some tests. She's got kidney problems. To spare you all the details, she's in bad shape. She either a) has a severe kidney infection and will hopefully be fine if the antibiotics and fluids help, or b) has kidney failure and is going to die. We should have a better idea by Monday.

And because I can't afford to leave her at the vet and let them do their magic, I'm administering antibiotics and subcutaneous fluids by IV at home. Yes, I have to stick my cat with a needle. But it's saving me $450.

Eh, this is hard. I know she's just a cat, but she's MY cat, and we've been together for ten years.

well said

Jenae, as we were taking pictures of the raging fire in downtown Overland Park, "Wow. We've had a pretty exciting week."

Me, "What else was exciting about this week?"

Jenae, "We had Greek food."

my weird little family

Okay, remember how Callie got hurt by another cat earlier this week? Well, it's been five days and she's not doing any better, so I decided to take her to the vet. I left her there this morning...let's all hope this isn't an expensive ordeal.

Anyway, this morning I was awakened by a howl that would curl your hair coming from the basement. I got up (jolted suddenly out of a dream in which Jordanne and I were camping and installing a light at the campsite) and went downstairs to see what all the commotion was about. Sam was at the sliding glass door, face to face with another cat—most likely the perpetrator of Callie's festering wound.

Sam's tail was all puffed out to accompany his howling, and the cat outside was beating on the sliding glass door with his paw. It was a circus act. I just couldn't help but laugh. I went back upstairs and since it was past time to get up anyway, I got in the shower and got ready for work. The entire time I could hear Sam downstairs still going at it trying to run this random cat off. As I pulled Callie out of her hiding place in the closet, I grabbed a sweatshirt to wrap her in so that I wouldn't get cat hair all over my jacket. She growled as I put it around her and picked her up.

"You wanna hear something that'll make you feel better?" I asked her. "Your brother is downstairs kicking ass in your honor."

wow. didn't see that coming.

Wednesday, around quitting time, I left work and went to the bank. Then I circled back around and went to Sheridan's to get some ice cream for dinner. Then my phone rang. It was Jenae, wondering if I was still at work, because a building very close to the one I work in was on fire...and she wanted to take pictures. I looked up (from blocks away) and could see the helicopters and smoke. So, of course, I told Jenae that I'd meet her there ASAP.

We just stood there watching the antique store burn, watching the flames shoot out the roof of the building. There were 20 fire trucks, and tons of cop cars. They were stringing up the yellow police line "do not cross" tape as we were taking pictures. After we were done there, we went back over to my office and out onto the fire escape, but it wasn't as good of a view as I thought it would have been...there was too much smoke to really see anything.

Anyway, it was an adventurous afternoon. I'd never quite seen anything like it. It was truly sad. On Thursday I walked past the building and there is literally nothing left in there. Just a charred, black mess.

Here are some shots from my tiny little Canon. Jenae's pictures are way better than mine (what with her bad-ass camera and killer photography skills), click here to see them.

prepare to melt all over the floor

Last night I discovered that my girl kitty, Callie, has gotten hurt. She probably got in a fight or something outside. She's limping and has a flesh wound and is quite lethargic. I'm keeping a close eye on her.

Anyway, last night when I finally found her in my roommate's closet, I took her out and put her on my bed. She promptly left there and went to the basement and crawled into the liquor cabinet. I pulled out her and situated her on the couch in the downstairs family room and turned the lights off so she would feel secluded.

The adorable part? Sam, my boy kitty, wouldn't leave her side. He didn't leave to play with my roommate's cats, he didn't come sleep with me, didn't come upstairs to eat, nothing. This morning I went downstairs to check on Callie, and Sam was right where I'd left him the night before: by her side.

I realize they're just cats—I'm not a freaky-weird pet owner, but DEAR GOODNESS that tugged at my heartstrings.